Archive for January 2015

7 POUNDS OF SKIN

Startling news….sex on first date not a bad thing! The least miserable places. A cat helicopter drone hybrid…cool! A glass of red wine at the gym is good, it’s the sweating that’ll kill you. Sitting on a park bench and changing the world. Heroin chic ain’t pretty. […]

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CUDDLING HOCKEY WIVES

Cuddling service or prostitution ring? An easier way to talk to strangers. After we spent all that time admiring smart people, we find out they were just lucky! Add something new to your salad…frogs heads. Finally reality tv that Canadian’s can sink their eyeballs into…Hockey Wives! Actually, […]

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FORGET SNOWPOCALYPSE, FACEBOOK’S DOWN!!

Screaming woman hammers genie. Facebook down and people horrified at having to talk to people! Flying high with the most dangerous job in entertainment. Deflate-gate takes a pee. Coffee=morphine and celebrity gossip=dopamine! Getting through school with sugar daddies from the kinkiest cities. Finally a shocking revelation about […]

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IF YOU LIKE IT, JUST DRINK IT BROTHER!

Buying Lincoln’s hair.  Hot tennis players, Nadal and the bum-to-nose shot.  For the love of beer – stay away from the cans and the rabbit who delivers them!  Walking and getting credit for it.  The Van Halen Winnipeg connection. What we’ll tolerate from athletes.  The Global Warming […]

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NO FEAR

40 years of great rock! 24 hours behind the wheel. Larry gets hooked on soaps, while Tom’s head explodes with PVR overload! Guns on the planes. Coffee and booze now good for you again, at least this week. Miss Canada in hockey heaven. Ladies take over the […]

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THE VAJANKLE AND THE SITZPINKLER

Who’s looking after the monkeys? Getting $1 Million to not smoke! Newspaper suffers mammary loss. The Genie Twirl and male strippers on fire. Date with a Hipster….$100. The Great Grandad calls in the Enforcer. Oh, Oh, PeeWee is back! Your right to stand and deliver….er…I mean…pee. Hacking […]

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GIVE AND TAKE

A wink and a pick for the people. Stripping down for a naked workout. Tooth and ballgate. The shift work pill. Clooney…not so bad after all. Rocky vs Smokin Joe Frazier. Doogie Howser is back! Liberace would be rolling in his grave. Smell the bacon from New […]

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THE SUPER TUCK

How to jump safely from a moving vehicle…you never know when you’ll have to! Breathing can kill you but check out the Apocalometer for more fun ways to die! Fifty shades of leggings and rabbits. The history of the female shape and the death of Page 3.  […]

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TREES OF LIFE

Blue Monday? Just hug a tree and listen to this show=cured! In fact, the best in health, happiness and safety can be found in the trees! Real men and erotic novels! Finally the secret behind how we knew North Korea hacked Sony! Having sex with a mailbox. […]

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DEMEROL AND A CATHETER

Hats off to a new Larry! A final ‘Caw’ for the crows. Ozzy, a cow and three drunk guys. Powerful people and the last cookie. Optimists live longer….or at least they think they will. Paintballing with Scott Weiland. Merit versus race. Is Liam Neeson a hypocrite?

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CRANK IT UP!!

I’ll trade you an IPhone for a bar of soap. Whale phlegm for the bedroom.  Scalping be good! Your most valuable asset?…..your jar of pennies! There will be blood….in that burger. Going way off Target! Manny and Money and tons and tons of money! Did you get […]

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A VIGNETTE!

A bunny in a wheelchair?….you bet! Remote controlled sexual satisfaction! From a million to the mission. Kaley snorts up the tennis court. Would you marry a hot trained assassin? A dung dildo better than splinters. 50 Shades of lousy wine. Spiders and snakes….oh my!

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NO PANTS, NO UNDERWEAR!

The robots will make you clean the toilet!  Larry lets loose on Fallon.  The race card and the rice card.  Research reveals a loophole for cheating.  Will the real Stephen Colbert please stand?  Is that a yellow ribbon or a toque on that tree?  Jimmy Page … […]

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THE NEED TO NEED

Porn goes mobile in the Jag for soccer Mom’s. No weight gain beer and bacon…..we’re in! For the love of God, wash your pyjamas!  The unbeatable poker player! Listen to the wisdom of Rod Steward. The Christmas tree dilemma leads right to Divorce Monday. Call Saul but […]

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THE ROPE AND THE HOLE

The nudge on the bum nightmare! Monkeys in the mirror and birds on the threshold. Human bullet impact tester?…Tom’s in! Friendship tatoo?….don’t think so! Fighting David Bowie. Kickin’ Ass in the movies. You won’t get a ‘seque’ to this ‘takeaway’ about a ‘foodie’. Mickey Rourke and pocket […]

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BUNKER HUNKER

The Swedish Leg Condom. Psychopathic male selfie addicts. Eating like a Viking. In the bunker with the Pres, Francis, Tom Hanks and Caroline Wozniacki. Super Heroes rule awards. The 4K gimmick. Turning down a Billion Dollars! Marilyn Manson in the bedroom….just as weird as you imagined. From […]

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THE HAT, THE FISH AND A BULGE

Elevating the status of the Cowboy Hat. How do you know if the fish is constipated? Endorsing ‘The Interview’. It’s just Charlie being Charlie. Blowing your nose can be more dangerous than tobogganing! Crowe yapping. Calvin Klein gives the Biebs a bulge. Santana….egomaniac or just a great […]

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SWABBING THE WHALE

The last video you’ll ever see! Larry the Sports Jinx! Finally, a washing machine for guys! Face Passwords…..you’ll only need one! If you’re one of the ‘electrosensitives’, this is where you gotta go! A goat ate my Christmas Tree! Sons of Anarchy spinoffs. Movie awards for all […]

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THE #1 KILLER!

A dry January?…Don’t think so!…read a book instead like the Facebook guy. Sexual triggers of a dirty, and yet, brilliant mind! Chinese cleavage eliminated. What’s the number one thing that can kill you?…you won’t believe it! One quarter immune to junk food. The best and worst movies. […]

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