Archive for July 2015

ORGASMS

The Nuge says the whole Cecil story is a lie!! Oh yeah…and apparently the lion was Dandy! Red flags when having that first date dinner….if you hear ‘gluten-key’..run!! Sucking up to Beijing. Orgasms…..the wonder drug!! You thought hygiene was common sense….think again!

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THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!

Spray-on condoms don’t work, but the remote-controlled bra remover sure does!  The late Cecil the Lion creates a power vacuum.  Chimps detox too!  Adam Sandler is done.  Why your wet dog stinks! Halle Berry lingerie … scandalous!  Tom Cruise nails Fallon’s lip-synch.  Ben Affleck and the Nanny??

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WEED VS WHEATIES!

What women want from their porn. Get off the phone and go see a Genius! Internet fueled shame! Bare breasted biking babes! Science favors Brady’s balls. Semen good for you…taken orally even better! Tell Elton to call his Mom! Conan a thief? Stewart a presidential adviser? ‘Bud’ […]

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WARNING! END OF THE WORLD!!

The Hawk warns that it starts innocently enough by spying on a nudist camp, but if we’re not careful, it can lead to wiping out the entire human race! Tom Cruise is a cool dude! Thumbs down on Vacation reboot. Francis will deal with crazy satanists of […]

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ROBOTS AND SEX!

Is your penis good looking? Robots getting scary smart! Taking nutrition too far! Women and their sex romps on holidays! Blackmailing Ashley Madison clients. Tom Cruise’s latest Mission Impossible….marrying a 22 year old! Caitlyn is the best trunk packer! Lightening hits 3 nude guys on a beach […]

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LUST FOR THE MUSK!

The Bling on your Thing! Shoot first and end it!…..we’re talking drones and bad guys! The wonderful world of having a bad memory! Larry’s need to go ‘bad boy’ rogue! Drinkers and drunks! Bed is a cesspool! Becks to the rescue! Hacking your car. French Scrabble. Madonna […]

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YOAN AND TINK

Armadillo’s spitting leprosy at you! Just call Larry ‘Billy Bob’. The narcissist challenge….how big of a dick are you? New Aerosmith song…”Dog in a Scarf on an Elevator”. Get hit by lightning And win the lottery! No one Trumps Def Leppard! The genetically modified Neil Young!

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BLAKE AND KATE!

The arrogance of the missed putt. Xena the warrior Cougar Queen. The We Consent app…..all guys say yes! Crack….you gotta hit the streets. TV is rotting your brain! Grohl crosses ‘cheesy’ line. The ‘Hawk’ is bored with earth. Someone give ‘Gomee’ another acting gig. Making it rain […]

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CHEATERS BEWARE!

Don’t hug your dog, rub his butt! How to yawn properly. It wasn’t the drugs that derailed Brian Wilson, it was the burgers and fries! Great surprise from the Boss! James Bond gets arrogant! Apple’s Cook sets Larry up with Snow Leopard. Joey says yeah he hit […]

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RESPECT AND ARROGANCE

You make have missed the pie eating contest, but you can still catch the sheep strangling! Honey I shrunk the Antman! Tough choices for Emmy dramas. Speith out classes Johnson and Kimmel. Of course Micheal Douglas falls for the gluten gimmick! Tom Selleck’s crime pales in comparison […]

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TEXTING MONKEYS!

Trumps ego has bodyguards hanging from the trees! Conservatives love Duck Dynasty while everyone else likes the Beatles and GSP! Is that a dildo hanging in the street?..better put on your ‘deflective shield’ underwear! Adult colouring books are flying off the shelves! Fiddy ain’t broke…just ask the […]

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SHORT SHORTS!!

We’ve got the ultimate solution for cycling paths even motorists will be happy with! Which would you rather have leaked online….your cash or your ass? Hey porn stars…it comes with the territory! Pluto…not that exciting after all. Distracted driving…..texting has nothing on shorty shorts! Dying armpits….nooooo!! Kid […]

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“THE SHORTY”

Can’t stand all the hands up your kilt?…wear pants! How Hippie are you? A greasy deal! Put Pete Rose in the HOF you hypocrites!! Fiddy ain’t worth a nickel! Gyllenhaal ripped and ready to pound you!…better download that 3 minute workout app! Oh!Reilly messes up while El […]

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LAUDING

Giving some respect back to Pluto! What’s all the Hoopla about having a library card? Catching Mini-Me. Babies ruling technology and social media! Dancing at Wimbledon. Multitasking with audio books and the exclamation, comma. Once again Dave Grohl is a blessing in disquise!

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FIREWORKS AND GUNS!

It’s July 4th!…get out the fireworks and the guns! No booze at this Springstein show, but there was lightening!! The trolls misrepresent another thoughtful message. The decline of an eating career. Bombing is the ultimate coward’s play! There’s just no downside to Dave Grohl. Billy Joel marry’s […]

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ALL KINDS OF COCKROACHES!

AC/DC think they’re Pink Floyd! The Pope and the coke and a lot of Blattering! Russian gender equality…..shoot women! The Rock is on fire.. help!! Fattening up at the restaurant! Tim McGraw and Saudi Prince raise the bar on being good guys! Affleck, J-Lo and JCVD!

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THE UNDERBELLY

That lack of sleep is killing you! Mix races to get taller and more intelligent! Sean Penn snares a mink while Tiger may have finally found the perfect lady! Transaction safe zones not for selling drugs! Blue eyes?…you’re an alcoholic! The dolphin, the sturgeon and the shark! […]

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